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  watched me, her eyes narrow and mean.

  “No,” I shouted back. “It’s OK, I don’t need

  any help.”

  The woman took a step forward. “You don’t

  live around here, do you? You get away from

  that house, now. Go on – go home.”

  Stupid old lady! I wanted to shout

  something back at her, but what if she called

  the police? My heart thudded, and I turned

  and walked away.

  There was a small park around the corner.

  I flopped down on an old wooden bench to

  catch my breath. Then I sat straight up. I

  17

  could watch Mom’s street from here! I could see when she got back.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. The sun

  went behind the clouds, and it got even colder.

  People hurried past. No one seemed to notice

  me.

  Hours went by. There was still no little red

  sports car. My stomach started to growl with

  hunger. Then it started to rain. Big, cold

  drops of water splashed onto me from the sky.

  I’d had enough! I ran across the street to

  the 7-Eleven and bought a Kit-Kat. I ate it in

  about two bites, and then I bought another one.

  I gulped that one down too, and stared out the

  window towards my mother’s street.

  My cell phone went off, and I jumped. For a

  second I thought it might be Mom. Was she

  going to tell me to stop watching her? But that

  was stupid. She didn’t even have my number.

  Dad’s name came up on the cell.

  I answered the call. “I just wanted to tell you

  to be home by five,” he said. “I thought we’d go

  and pick up a pizza and a DVD.”

  18

  No! How could I leave before Mom came back? To be home by five I’d have to catch the

  next bus. I bit my lip as I stared out at the

  road.

  “Sarah?” said Dad. “Did you hear me?”

  Damn, damn, damn! “Yes, OK,” I told him.

  “I’ll be home soon.”

  The next morning I was sitting on the park

  bench again.

  I got there really early, but Mom’s car was

  still gone. But this time I was better prepared

  and ready for the wait. I had Dad’s iPod with

  me, and a bunch of sandwiches.

  I ate them slowly, listening to the music.

  I wished Dad liked music that wasn’t from

  before I was born. When I got fed up with the

  music, I played games with myself, trying to

  guess the color of the next car to come down

  the street. Was it going to be blue, green,

  yellow?

  I got them right sometimes. But even when

  the cars were red, they were never Mom’s.

  19

  I sat there all day. The shadows under the trees grew short and then long again. Then, at

  last, it started getting dark, and I had to go

  home.

  I stood up. I had been sitting for so long

  that my legs hurt. I was dying for the

  bathroom. I walked slowly to the bus stop. I

  felt really down. Maybe she wasn’t even there

  any more. Maybe my e-mails had scared her

  off and she’d moved.

  The bus pulled up in front of me. The doors

  opened, and the driver nodded at me as I

  climbed on. “How are you doing today?” he

  said. He didn’t look so grumpy this time.

  I muttered hello to him as I paid. My

  cheeks were red. God, I was on this bus so

  much now that the driver knew me!

  I sat down near the back, and gripped the

  seat in front of me as we pulled away from the

  curb. Suddenly I felt angry at myself. What

  was I doing, riding back and forth on this

  stupid bus? My mom didn’t care that I wanted

  to see her. She didn’t even know!

  20

  I’d acted like such a loser, hanging around her house. Well, I wouldn’t any more. To hell

  with her.

  I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes. I

  just wanted to block out everything – the whole

  world. Then the bus jerked and my eyes flew

  open – just in time to see an old red sports car

  as it vanished down a lane.

  21

  Chapter 4

  Do You Want Something?

  The car had been Mom’s, I just knew it.

  Maybe she’d been gone for the weekend or

  something. That was probably it, I thought.

  She’d been living it up with lots of her friends.

  They’d all gone away to somewhere exciting.

  What if she was gone every weekend? Then

  I’d never get to see her! I was helping Dad put

  the dishes away, and I almost dropped one

  when I thought that.

  “Careful,” said Dad.

  22

  “Yeah, sorry.” I stacked the plate with the others. My hands felt big and clumsy. I’d told

  myself that I’d never go back there, but I knew

  I would. I had to see her. I had to.

  “Sarah …” Dad started to say something,

  and stopped.

  “What?” I picked at a bit of food left on a

  plate. He didn’t say anything else, and I looked

  up. “What?” I asked again.

  Dad shook his head. His hair looked thin

  on top, and was going gray at the sides.

  “Nothing,” he said. “Forget it.”

  What had he been going to say? Something

  about Mom, maybe? Yeah, right! He hadn’t

  even told me that she’d moved to Midland.

  I grabbed the last plate and put it away.

  “I’ve got to finish my homework,” I lied.

  The next morning, I got dressed for school

  and said goodbye to Dad as usual. But instead

  of walking to school, I caught the bus to

  Midland again. It was a different driver this

  time, thank God.

  23

  I kept my head down when we got there, and hoped no one would notice me as I walked

  along.

  Suddenly a car screeched around the

  corner. I looked up. The red sports car was

  gone almost before I’d seen it. But I’d had a

  look at the woman at the wheel. She had

  brown hair, like mine. And glasses. Mom had

  worn glasses.

  It had been her!

  I held my breath as I looked down the road.

  Maybe Mom had noticed me, too. Maybe she’d

  turn around and come back.

  The sound of the car grew distant and

  faint. Then there was only silence. I stood

  there for a long time, but finally I had to admit

  that she was gone.

  What should I do now? I bit my lip. What

  if she’d gone to work? She wouldn’t be back for

  hours and hours. But this might be my only

  chance. If Dad found out I’d played hooky

  today there was no way I’d be able to skip

  school another time.

  24

  So I sat on the park bench again and waited. I sat there for what felt like years.

  I got so bored that I even started reading my

  English textbook. I hardly saw anyone at all –

  just a few people who were walking their dogs,

  and moms pushing strollers. No one said

  anything to me.
r />   After a while I was dying for the bathroom

  again, only it was ten times worse than before.

  I started crossing and uncrossing my legs.

  Oh, God, what now? I hadn’t seen a restroom

  anywhere. It got so bad that I waited until I

  couldn’t see anyone, and then I ran behind

  some bushes. My face felt red and hot. I was

  so terrified that someone would see me

  squatting there with my big white butt. But it

  was such a relief to go that I almost wanted to

  cry.

  When I got back to the park bench, I

  stopped in my tracks.

  The red sports car was parked in front of

  Mom’s house. I could see the scratches on the

  door. They looked long and ugly.

  She was there.

  25

  My heart pounded. Slowly, I started walking towards the house. I didn’t know what

  to do. Should I just go up and ring her bell?

  But what would I say to her? Mom, why do you

  hate me so much? I swallowed, and looked

  over at the house where the old lady lived.

  I didn’t want her to come out and shout at me

  again.

  Maybe I should go and look in my mom’s

  window, and see what she was doing. Yeah.

  That was the best thing. Then I could figure

  out if I wanted to talk to her or not.

  I took a deep breath and started to go

  around the side of the house. Suddenly the

  front door opened. I stopped in my tracks.

  My mom was standing there. It was her.

  Mom. She stared at me with a frown on her

  face. “Can I help you?”

  My cheeks grew warm. “Um … I …”

  She held onto the door with one hand. She

  was wearing an old denim skirt, and her hair

  was all messy. “Do you want something?” She

  sounded angry.

  26

  She didn’t know who I was. It felt like the world had turned upside-down. I took a step

  backwards and nearly tripped over. Then I

  started to run.

  I ran almost all the way to the bus stop.

  I could hardly breathe when I got there. I bent

  over, panting hard. Sweat ran down my face.

  I gasped, and then I knew I was crying. I wiped

  my eyes with my arm, and sat on the bench.

  She didn’t know me. She didn’t even know

  me! I’d know her anywhere. She looked just

  the same. Suddenly I remembered this time

  when I was five, and Mom took me out to dance

  in the rain. The two of us had splashed in

  puddles together and we’d been singing as loud

  as we could. I thought she was the best mom

  in the world then.

  It had almost made up for being scared of

  her.

  The thought made me feel icy-cold. But it

  was true. I had been scared of her. I hugged

  myself as I waited for the stupid bus to come.

  I’d never known when she was going to blow up

  at me. She’d get so angry sometimes, and I

  never knew what I’d done wrong.

  27

  Things were better now, with just me and Dad. Maybe he worked so much that I hardly

  ever saw him, but at least he never got angry

  unless he had a reason. Life made sense with

  Dad.

  The bus came, and I climbed slowly onto it.

  I felt enormous – fatter than ever. That was

  that, I said to myself as I sat down. My mom

  didn’t have a clue who I was, and I was glad.

  I never wanted to see her again.

  28

  Chapter 5

  Reality TV

  On the bus ride home, I started to feel

  hungry. I mean, really hungry! It got worse

  and worse, until my stomach felt like a big,

  empty hole. Food. I needed food. I was almost

  dizzy with hunger.

  I almost ran off the bus when it got to my

  town. I headed straight for the McDonald’s and

  bought three large fries to go. I felt better the

  moment I had them in my hands. I leaned

  against a wall outside and started eating. I

  gulped down the fries in big, greasy handfuls.

  29

  When I finished the first bag, I started on the second.

  Kids wearing backpacks started walking

  past. School must have just gotten out.

  Suddenly the fries seemed to stick in my

  throat. I hate it when people see me eating,

  because then they know what a total pig I am.

  But I’d never let them know how much I hate

  them seeing me. I kept my head up, and

  glared at anyone who looked at me.

  Beth Sands was walking by herself. When

  she saw me, she stopped. She stood on the

  sidewalk for a moment, and then she walked

  towards me.

  I couldn’t believe it! I’d been about to take

  another bite of fries, and now I just sat there,

  holding them in my fingers. What was she up

  to?

  Beth walked right past me, and into the

  McDonald’s. I twisted around to look in the

  window. I watched her buy something, and

  then she came back outside and stood against

  the wall next to me.

  30

  “Hi,” she said. She opened up her

  McDonald’s bag and pulled out some fries. She

  looked nervous. She should be!

  “What do you want?” I snapped.

  She nibbled at a fry. “I don’t know. You

  looked lonely.”

  Lonely. What a freak. She didn’t know

  anything about me. I dropped my fries back in

  the McDonald’s bag. She’d messed everything

  up. I couldn’t eat with her standing there.

  Beth turned to me. Her limp hair hung

  down the sides of her face. “You weren’t in

  school today,” she said.

  “So?” I asked.

  She gave a shrug. “Nothing. But ... are you

  OK? You look sort of – ” she stopped.

  “What?” I snarled.

  She went pale. I thought she might run

  away, but she didn’t. “You look like you’ve

  been crying,” she said.

  I jumped up. I wanted to throw the fries in

  her face, but I knew I’d want them when I got

  31

  home. “Whatever,” I said. My voice shook.

  “Just leave me alone!”

  I shoved the bag in my backpack and

  started home. I didn’t look over my shoulder.

  But somehow I knew, if I did, Beth would still

  be standing there, staring after me.

  When I got home there was a phone

  message from the school, asking where I was.

  I deleted it. Thank God I’d gotten to it before

  Dad. He’d go crazy.

  He didn’t get home until almost nine that

  night. We had Chinese take-away, and

  watched one of those reality TV talent shows

  together. I ate a bag of chocolate cookies while

  we watched. I was still hungry.

  “Listen to him, poor boy,” laughed Dad. “No

  talent at all!” He helped himself to a cookie.

  He’d never said anything about how fat I was.

  Maybe he didn’t notice. The thought made me

  angry, and I grabbed another cookie.

  “Why
did Mom leave?” I asked suddenly.

  Dad almost choked on his cookie. Good.

  It served him right.

  32

  He wiped his mouth. “Why do you want to know?”

  I gave a shrug. “No reason.”

  Dad kept staring at me. Maybe he was

  trying to figure out if I knew Mom was in the

  next town. I looked right back at him, and

  didn’t give anything away.

  At last he let out a long sigh. “I don’t know,

  Sarah,” he said. “I don’t think she was always

  very happy. Sometimes she’d get really silent,

  and not talk to me for days. And then

  sometimes she seemed on top of the world.”

  He swallowed hard. “It was a real shock to

  me when she left,” he said. “It was the last

  thing I expected. And it was very hard on you.

  You cried yourself to sleep every night for

  weeks and weeks.”

  I felt my cheeks grow hot. I scowled at the

  TV. I didn’t want to talk about that part!

  I wanted to ask what she was doing in Midland.

  But then I’d have to tell Dad how I knew, and

  there was no way I could do that.

  The next person came on the talent show.

  Dad kept watching me, like he wasn’t sure

  33

  what else to say. Then he turned the sound up and settled back onto the sofa.

  Neither of us said anything else.

  When the news came on, I crept into Dad’s

  room. My heart beat hard as I turned on the

  computer. I had to see if Mom had written to

  my Hotmail account.

  She hadn’t. But she had written to Dad.

  I looked at the e-mail on the screen. Dad

  hadn’t read it yet. My hand felt like it was in

  slow motion as I clicked onto it.

  Ted,

  I think Sarah’s been stalking me. Someone

  scratched up my car last week, and I’ve been getting weird e-mails. At first I thought it was the locals in the town, ganging up on me and trying to make me

  move out. I can tel that none of them like me.

  But there was a girl outside my house today,

  sneaking around. I asked her what she wanted, and

  she wouldn’t say anything. I didn’t know who she

  was … but now I think it was Sarah.

  Ted, you HAVE to tel her to stop this. She has

  to leave me alone! I can’t take this kind of stress.

  34

  I’l press charges if she damages anything else of mine, or sends any more e-mails.

  Ann

  Oh, my God! I quickly deleted the e-mail so

  that Dad would never see it. My hand was

  shaking. She knew it was me.

  She knew, and she didn’t care.

  Anger rushed through me. I felt boiling